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Barzsuk

by Pitseleh

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1.
In the dark of morning When the sun hits The deepest corners of my soul, The regrets that won’t pass I’m sorry Dad, The lines in sand for me Were canyons for you That you couldn’t cross And oh, my mother I tally up your sins On the flesh of my legs While you adorn your face in masks Propane cascades across my soul I lit the match so I must pay the toll I draw the lines and I Count the sins And someday my lies must come To an end
2.
Moving still life On the other side of town Lover in strings Oh, won’t you take me down I hear you as I turn you free from me You’ll disappear As if you were never here I have stolen Missing parts and pieces That I’ll fuse together To make you my lover But you’re never Just quite right to me Though you may be perfect To everybody else You run away A prodigal son or daughter The days are comin hotter And still you’ll run farther
3.
Song & Dance 07:27
I can see the façade you’ve erected The ax to fall down On my neck I can see your burden when you get home But don’t worry, my yolk is easy To find You paint your face so many colors A mask towards the world Yet it falls to the floor when you walk through that door This cycle will remain unbroken Put on your song and dance Your song and dance There is no chance Obscure their eyes, Cloud their view, And pray your god they don’t see you You worship your money You know that it’s the Root of all your sin You show me that I’m Satan When you turn that shoulder you’ve frozen Prepare a face for the masks you wear Come back in from the cold night air April drowns in God’s black tears Wept in regret for making your stare Put on your song and dance Your song and dance There is no chance Obscure their eyes Cloud their view And pray your god they don’t see you
4.
The Sowers 05:53
Flyers of the execution Are being sold around this town Mossy greens and bloody reds Paper the walls and the bathroom stalls Nowhere, nowhere, nowhere “From this seed we’ll build our gallows On this rock we’ll sacrifice The exercised, the outcast Will dance from rope that we spun From the seed, from the seed, from the seed” We only said There are more voices you’re not listening to We only said That we built this burning house too Haunted man, our advocate Stand for us, don’t go astray Our silenced sorrows don’t bother them There’s something more behind their eyes Unknowable, unknowable, unknowable We only said There are more voices you’re not listening to We only said That we built this burning house too
5.
6.
Thank God your eyes Blinded, blind as Baal Couldn't see the remnants Of my bloody tales Stories have been Etch-a-sketched in skin I was a ruthless child Play-punishing my sin Hidden in sheets Your mind wanders far Midnight, the candle burns And your eyes are stars I will love you if you ask me to And if you're feeling sinister We will go through Our gentle night Caresses the head of the screaming man outside But we won't fear him I will love you if you ask me to And if you're feeling sinister We will go through
7.
The outside air shivers and snuffs Out fires leaving only the soot To fall from the branches, skeletoned trees Ice cream in the freezing winter And leaves like paper under hooves Prayers left kneeling on the street It's not that you were so hateful It's not that you were so full of pride It's just that I didn't listen It's just that I didn't hide Some phantoms, they still live there Barely clothed, cups in their hands They'd go away, if they'd just listen If only it'd stay this cold forever Memories wouldn't fade into sand In the cold I will forget all my sins It's not that you were so hateful It's not that you were so full of pride It's just that I didn't listen It's just that I didn't hide
8.
No Name 3 02:59
We arrived too late Our mouths were opening I turned off the light So, come on, night You're a witness, you You've seen me interrupt A good, old-fashioned fight So, come on, night Everyone is gone Home to oblivion Home to oblivion Home to oblivion Watched the dying day Blushing in the sky Everyone is uptight So, come on, night Everyone is gone Home to oblivion Home to oblivion Home to oblivion Home to oblivion I know we're not Illegitimate In our hearing So, come on So, come on So, come on, night
9.
The devil has a father, one Who can bend and twist the world Where I am, seated upon My throne of white sheets And meals through my silken arms But oh, look at this, look at this, look look at this You sit in your tower of mud Drinking from your looking glass Does your water taste of cyanide? Do you know what you now feel inside? Anger that my father, he's still alive? The pen falls by the wayside Now's the time for war and strife There's no way of knowing what is to come When you only see yourself The draft you drink will be your death Demons array against me They kneel above my throne They are two many to count They both have no one around They can't hear my sounds And they're falling down Down down down down
10.
Every Mirror 04:21
And here I sit Inside my rubber room A strand of the sun's hair Falls down on the floor The only light in here As my fire fades to black Your face was my every flaw Eyes that told tales of mistakes I could see how they were right I could see how I might Have mistaken you that night For someone I could love I pop my fingers And they fall to the floor I've broken every mirror And I've freed the hinges of their doors If I ever sleep again Memories will settle Like dust upon the floor I'll have to tear up the boards But there's no food for My fire that's dying When the world rots All around this rubber room I will only sit and stare My only worry or care A strand of the sun's hair Only inches away I pop my fingers And they fall to the floor I've broken every mirror And I've freed the hinges of their doors
11.
You ask me if you'll survive, A knife piercing your breast And what can I say But I don't know I don't know Marching away The legions you love so much Will come to kill you in your sleep If you love them too much If you love them too much Too much And what can I do to say What can I do to say "Go away forever!" And what do I mean when I say What do I mean when I say "Get away from me!" Now go away, go away from me And go to sleep In the hole you came from And leave a feast for worms And this is my song for you And all the things you do Cuz you're what got me through From the good times From the good times to the bad

about

I recorded this over a period of about 9 months in 2021. I hope you like it!

You couldn’t see the color of the chevy as it stumbled and swerved along the dusty road at midnight. But as William Whitehead leaned against his doorway, gazing into the night, he could see, plain as day, Everett’s red truck pull up his driveway, and a thin man step, almost fall, out.
“You alright there, Ev?” William asked
“Sure I am, Jack, sure I am.” He walked up onto the porch and slapped a heavy hand onto Jack’s shoulder. “Would you do me a favor and play me a game of rummy? I got my own cards here.” He shoved his hands into his overalls, searching different pockets, until producing a handful of playing cards, with some drifting to the ground through the cold February air. Ev didn’t seem to notice.

credits

released January 15, 2022

Thank you to Caiden, Jalen, Lyle, and Cece for unwittingly lending their voices to the background noise in Wintering (Black Amnesias), and to my Dad and Rowan, both for being instrumental in how this record sounds and for ushering me through the process through teaching and encouragement. I love y'all!

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Pitseleh Texas

indie folk! Mementos EP out January 27th on bandcamp, February 3rd on other platforms

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